Swamp Juice: Low-Tech Green Juicing

For years now I have read about green juices and detoxing. I don’t always have the greatest opinions of most “fad” diets, detoxes or cleanses but every now and again things cling to me. Like some sort of transmittable disease, green juice is something that just appears and spreads over and over. Without fail, every January everyone is opting to go anorexic and green. For me balance isn’t something I look for once a year, it’s a daily struggle. Within the past year I have really adapted to a whole foods lifestyle, it has been a process over many years but this year we have gone hard core. I’ve abandoned artificial processed foods, no more chemicals, preservatives and absolutely no more “Low Fat,” Low-Calorie” diet foods. 

I would like to think I am a free thinker, but like everyone else I’m always looking to drop a few. As always, once again I have found myself really struggling to hold on to my new found balance. Throughout my adult life I have gained and lost the same 60 pounds. Time and time again I work my way down just to fall back onto “you only live once.” I did a whole30 in January and it really rearranged my body and soul, but recently I find myself just not able to do it. So I’m going liquid, not for 30 days, not for the rest of my life but simply a few days here and there. Let’s face it… by here and there I mean I only have the will power to do a day here and there like… once a month. (at most)

Like most people I don’t have a $600 blender (although I’d sell a toe for one) and for a while I did not have a juicer. Eventually I found a juicer on clearance and I realized… I really hated it. My favorite juices include kale or carrots and the juicer pretty much pays no mind to JUICING either of these, it just spits it into the tray and calls it. GAME OVER, no juice just a mess. So although I thought I had made some big progress I ended right back where I started making blender juices. Swamp juice may not sound like the most delicious thing around but I’ve really come to enjoy it. It isn’t perfectly smooth, it isn’t ethereal and vibrant… it looks pretty damn funky. Depending on your tastes, you can vary the greens and fruits. There are a million and five combinations I pretty much use just the following two “recipes.”
Low-Tech Green Juice Recipes
Strawberry Melon
A light honey dew melon and great quality pineapple juice make this light and refreshing. I found some south American melon that had a very fresh and savory cucumber taste to it. Regular honey dew and a few slices of cucumber will replicate that taste.

2-3 cups green fleshed melon
2 hand fulls spinach and/or kale
2-3 tablespoons pineapple juice
2-3 tablespoons lemon juice
6 or 7 strawberries

Place in blender and blend until … uh lets say “smooth-ish.”

Super Duper Green Booster
This one has a more distinctive flavor. Hippie-esque if you will. For a while I used the green juice found in the produce section as my blending liquid however recently I read the label and was not satisfied with what I saw. So now I use just lemon juice or pineapple juice. When I get a chance I will probably buy some spirulina to add to this but for now this is what I go with. This one I’ve mostly made in the food processor, it might work ok-ish in a regular blender but the kale and celery really need to get whacked good to not be wicked chunky.
1 hand full kale
1 hand full spinach
2-3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 green apple, seeded and cored
1-2 stalks of celery
water or pineapple juice to smooth
Blend in a food processor or blender until “smooth-ish.” In a food processor it makes a bitch of a mess but I usually do this 2 or 3 times and make 3 big bottles at a time. 
Freezing and Storage- Using acidic juices like pineapple, lemon and lime juice help to keep the lifespan of these juices to a few weeks. They will last in your fridge for two weeks easy. To freeze simply pour into jars with PLENTY of head space for expansion. Plastic  bottles work best if you happen to have them, … because they don’t explode. (as I can say from experience) 

For both recipes (or any juice recipe) 2 tablespoons of MCT oil can be added. (per blender pitcher) I have found this product linked to the famous bulletproof coffee, and although I don’t drink 1/2 cup of butter with mine, I do find that in a smoothie MCT oil and/or Maca powder help give me a boost of energy without caffeine.

Product Description States: Medium Chain Triglycerides (MCT’s) are fats that are naturally found in coconut and palm kernel oil. MCT’s are more easily and rapidly digested than other types of fats, as they require lower amounts of enzymes and bile acids for intestinal absorption. MCT’s are metabolized very quickly in the liver and are reported to encourage an increase in energy expenditure, while decreasing fat storage. Numerous studies suggest that substituting MCT Oil for other fats in a healthy diet may therefore help to support healthy weight and body composition.*